he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
