he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
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