i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
