$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
