I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize