Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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