i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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