just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
