your parents love me but you hate me
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Randomize
