Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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