3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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