I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
