Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
