my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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