I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you win again, gameday.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
