She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
