do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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