So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize