don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
