Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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