I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize