remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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