Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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