i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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