No awkward lesbian experiences without me
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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