I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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