His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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