she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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