Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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