ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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