she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize