Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize