I will die if light touches me.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
