he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
