Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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