I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Houston, we have a squirter
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
