just survived the first fart of the relationship.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
