Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
3 2 1 whiskey
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
