what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
