Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
