Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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