oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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