Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
