Nicole vs. Life
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
