I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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