So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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