Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
