I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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