the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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