You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
