No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
