No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
