My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
