i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
