Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You pole danced in your parka.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
