My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
