On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
