The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i believe in u and ur pee
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
