you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Found your dick twin last night
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
