Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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