i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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