i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
