I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
