If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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